Do you ever get that feeling that when you make a plan that something is listening and devising a way to do the exact opposite of what you plan? Plotting to find loopholes? Is it just me? It might be just me.
So. Funny story time.
I’ve been getting fed up with waiting for rejections. I know that sounds weird, but bear with me: part of my coping strategy is BEING THE BEST AT ACCUMULATING REJECTIONS. And then part of my coping strategy with that is to focus on submission rates. (My coping strategies often resemble Rube Goldberg machines. As does my editing strategies… my design strategies… I like complicated machinery, okay?)
Since I have been blue, my submission rates have dropped below the bare minimum to meet my goal of 200 subs by the end of 2019; facing that statistic (this is why we keep spreadsheets, people) lit a fire in my belly, so last week I made it my goal to type up the short story I wrote last February, edit it into something human beings could read, and send it out by Friday EOD.
Typing went well, editing went… all right. The story is very different than my usual style, but That’s Okay, because this is a throw-away story. I don’t care about it, it doesn’t mean much to me, I am happy to use it as ammunition in the Rejection/Submission Wars, and to that end I went to Duotrope’s Fastest Markets.
Plan: work my way down the list until I find a speculative fiction magazine that would conceivably like a story about a ghost cat (so, like, not Asimov’s). Send story. Count it as a submission in my spreadsheet. Wait only a couple of days for rejection to return like a emailed boomerang. Count rejection towards my FFY goal. Repeat all summer until my birthday.
What a plan. I mean, look at it: simple. Effective. Both acceptance/rejection are win-scenarios.
The first magazine I sent the story to did, in fact, respond the next day, moving the story from “received” to “under consideration”.
So far, so good.
The following day, Sunday, I got an email to say that it had changed status again. I logged into the submission manager, eager to note my rejection (and confirmation of my plan’s success) and discovered:
THEY LIKED THE STORY. THEY ARE HOLDING IT FOR REVIEW. THE REVIEW IS A VOTE. The vote could take place anytime between now AND SEPTEMBER.
HAVE A NICE SUMMER.
This… was not part of the plan.
I mean, hooray, they liked it! But also they have not yet accepted. They are holding it under consideration, which means, of course, that I am expected not to send it elsewhere. Which means no submissions to add to my spreadsheet, and no rejections to count towards my goal. My goal which ends August 31, which many keen-eyed readers will note is JUST BEFORE SEPTEMBER.
*gently thuds head against desktop*
This is why I get the feeling someone Upstairs is listening, and cackling.
In other news, Creampuffs is wrapping up tomorrow! It’s been an interesting new set of skills to learn, posting it to WattPad, and been lovely sharing my little nerd-com novel with new people. I’m a bit sad that it’s coming to an end.
I might have a little surprise prepared that I’ll be posting about later this week. Stay tuned! 😉