No, I did not get in.

No, I didn’t even get emails from my mentor choices.

All of my queries for Blackout Odyssey are back, except for one small press that still has my manuscript (!), which is expected to get back to me sometime before the end of January 2020, but I’m not holding out much hope. BOO is officially in a drawer.

Even though I knew it was coming, it still stings.

So it goes.

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In better news, I finished my edits for Space Crazies. Two days ahead of schedule! It’s currently with trusted friends who are reading it just to make sure that the editorial PolyFilla has been properly sanded down and such. It’s honestly a huge relief not to have it on my shoulders for a little while. I still need to do a reverse-read of the print-out to catch any residual typos, since I do have a tendency to leave out small words but that’s a couple of afternoons work with a printout and coffee. Bigger issue is writing the query letter.

It’s NaNo season, the best time of year and my favourite holiday, yet as much as I hate to admit it, I am not up to doing a NaNo. I want to be up for it, I want to be able, but I’m not. I just don’t have the spoons. I’m barely keeping on top of household chores and errands. (Yes I am on SSRIs, but they haven’t kicked in yet. Two more weeks to go.) So instead I am trying to use the swirling NaNo energy out there on the interwebs to do my query package and maybe a short story or two. I’ll see whether I go to any of the events, but that’s a big ol’ Probably Not, TBH.

A large part of trying to get published is just finding out ways to keep moving forward in the face of overwhelming rejection. I wish I could share a secret, or relate how I do it, but I am not even sure myself. Perhaps it’s because I don’t know what else I would do. Perhaps it’s because I built such a routine that I autopilot. For instance, Monday I sent out outstanding submissions. I didn’t want to; I wanted to lie down on the couch and watch Marvel movies. But I did my submissions anyway because it’s Monday and that’s what I do on Mondays. You’ll notice that I am writing a blog today, on Tuesday. (Yes I have skipped a couple of weeks but that was from lack of subject to write about. I assure you I planted my butt in my chair and stared at the screen for a good long while before giving up.) Tuesdays are the days I sit down and blag.

So my routine and my stubbornness is carrying me along so far, and I hope it will carry me through to submitting Space Crazies, too. After that? I don’t know. But I do know that after all that work, after going through three editors, and nine years, if I don’t query it, it will feel like a waste. Maybe that’s not a great reason to query, but you know what? I’ll take it. It’s all I’ve got right now.

…I guess this means I have to get started on a query letter. It’s my fourth go ’round, surely this time will be easier. (*hollow laughter*)

Happy NaNo, those of you that are participating this year. I’m with you in spirit. <3