{"id":1832,"date":"2026-10-20T12:01:33","date_gmt":"2026-10-20T16:01:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/victoriafeistner.com\/blog\/?p=1832"},"modified":"2026-10-20T12:01:35","modified_gmt":"2026-10-20T16:01:35","slug":"official-permission-to-write-garbage-applies-to-drafts-too","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/victoriafeistner.com\/blog\/2026\/10\/20\/official-permission-to-write-garbage-applies-to-drafts-too\/","title":{"rendered":"Official Permission to Write Garbage\u2122 Applies To Drafts, Too"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

A long time ago, in a writer’s group far away, we would give each other Official Permission To Write Garbage\u2122. (I even went so far as to make a printable little poster<\/a>.1<\/a><\/sup>)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was all about giving oneself the grace to understand that a first draft will always <\/strong>be shitty. It will be messy, redundant, awkward, redundant, full of typos and holes. And that is okay<\/em>. Because you can’t edit what you don’t write! So just write it down! Assume no one is going to read the first draft2<\/a><\/sup>, and just, you know, give ‘er.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then let the draft ferment, come back to it with fresh eyes, tidy it up, and voila! A draft you can send to your beta readers\/other humans. A process I have been using for over thirty years at this point.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But now I need Official Permission\u2122 for something else.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Editing Fletcher & Cooper Book Two, Episodes 6 & 7 went very, very well for August and September. I routinely went over my daily page count, I was trimming, I was deleting, and it felt great. My original goal (edit the Draft 0 into a Draft 1 by the end of October so that I could set it aside\/send it to beta readers while I shifted my focus to NaNo) seemed doable! I was chugging along. Episode 8… lagged a bit. It was getting more rewritey, mostly because that was the point in the original writing process where I wasn’t sure where I was going. Stuff dragged, scenes… imploded. But it okay! I have levelled up my editing skillz! I was up to the task! I got the train back on the tracks and we arrived at the station in time to hit my September mini-goal!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then I hit Episode 9, aka the endgame, aka The Showdown With The Big Bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now, don’t get me wrong, there was a lot I enjoyed when I did my read-through in preparation. I whipped through it in an afternoon, carried along by the story, and felt very satisified.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But then I went away to think about it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \n
  1. I think I maybe read it too<\/em> fast, because when I started editing Episode 9 like a month later, there were parts I didn’t remember. At all. Important parts.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  2. The story carried itself, but almost too<\/em> well. Things wrapped up very conveniently in places, and the stakes and scope of the Showdown could have been much, much bigger. I can’t speak to what I was thinking about in 2019 (the distant, unknowable past) but I get the distinct impression that Past Me was desperate to just… finish the damn thing. Which, fair: it is a sprawling story, with a lot of moving parts, and is like 200,000 words long, IIRC. (That’s why I split it into two books.) So there are a lot of easy outs taken during the Showdown.3<\/a><\/sup><\/li>\n\n\n\n
  3. There were a couple of pivotal\/emotional moments that were from one character’s point of view that really really really <\/em>should have been from another’s to get the full impact of what was happening.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    I mean, that’s a small list, right? Just move some reveals around to chats around the fire instead of The Big Showdown, enlarge the scope of said Showdown, rewrite a scene or two from a different POV, and… wait. If I change the Convenient Plan\u2122 into something more thought out and impactful, etc., then great, but now I have to update\/throw out\/re-write all the parts that resulted<\/em> of the Convenient Plan\u2122, so now I have to figure out how to re-introduce this character…. And if I want to make the battle bigger and give it higher stakes, I need to rewrite this chunk entirely… wait, but that invalidates this other part over here…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Oh. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Oh no.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \n\n\n\n

    I’ve been getting really anxious at the thought of working on F&C. Like, tummy-ache anxious.4<\/a><\/sup> I’ve been putting my ass in the chair, but work is increasingly like pulling teeth and the breezy progress of last month a distant memory. Partly it’s because I know that I am not going to make the deadline–that was obvious when I had hardly progressed for the first two weeks–but I have already given myself grace for that, and extended “the deadline” (that is 100% self-inflicted and arbitrary) to the end of the year. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I can do NaNo, then come back to Episode 9 in December5<\/a><\/sup> and (hopefully) get it into a state for beta reader(s) by the end of the year. It should be okay.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    So what’s the anxiety from, then?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    It took a lot of journalling, walks, etc., but I realized, FINALLY, realized that I really really really want to do a good job on this book.<\/em> Far more than my other novels. I want people to love F&C as much as I do<\/em>6<\/a><\/sup>. I want them to be as enthralled with the universe<\/em>7<\/a><\/sup>. I want the sparkly images in my head to translate even more than usual to the page.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \"\"<\/a>
    100% scientifically accurate meme<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

    And as such, I’ve been agonizing over the changes. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Changes
    TO
    THE
    FIRST
    DRAFT.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Remember8<\/a><\/sup>, there’s no publisher or similar here. I’m working with a draft 0<\/strong>: there are half-finished scenes in there, notes to myself9<\/a><\/sup>, scenes where I started one way, realized half way through the sprint that no, we need to change POV, etc. It’s a MESS. IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE.

    SO IS DRAFT ONE.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    It’s been so long my process to edit a bit as I go, ferment, and then do another pass before considering it done, that I forget that, actually, most people do many many drafts<\/em> and that each draft is allowed to be imperfect<\/em>. That’s why they are drafts.<\/em> For christ’s sake, I was re-writing & enlarging the ending to Curve on the advice of the publisher<\/em>, who already loved it<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    IT. DOESN’T. HAVE. TO. BE. PERFECT.10<\/a><\/sup><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \n\n\n\n

    I’m still not entirely sure what wording I will use. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    “Official Permission to Write Garbage” is so succinct and catchy. “Official Permission to draft <\/strong>garbage” doesn’t work in the same way, I don’t know why. But I am going to have a think about it, maybe bring it to my writer’s group and workshop it, and then make a new printable.11<\/a><\/sup><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    And in the meantime I have managed to procrastinate my entire “Dedicate this time to editing” time-bloc away by writing this here blag.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    MISSION SUCCESS.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    (J\/k, I will do some work on F&C after lunch, even with the tummy-ache.)<\/p>\n\n\n

    1. Goodness, that was a long time ago. And during the writing of Fletcher & Cooper, to boot! Plus \u00e7a change, etc. Also that style was a long-ass time ago too, eep. \u21a9\ufe0e<\/a><\/li>
    2. This is why I call mine Draft 0. No one gets to read a Draft 0. Sometimes I<\/em> can barely read a Draft 0. I do not expect other humans to have to suffer as I do. \u21a9\ufe0e<\/a><\/li>
    3. You know when you’re watching an episode of, I don’t know, Star Trek or something, and the crew is like “OMG we have to do X otherwise the ship will explode, or whatever!” where X is kinda out of left-field and\/or hand-wavy and\/or wraps everything up in a neat little package with no reprecussions? And you pause the show and turn to your long-suffering partner and explain what the writers could have done instead that a) would have arguably made more sense and b) been more satisfying? THAT. But against something I wrote MYSELF. Which is RUDE. \u21a9\ufe0e<\/a><\/li>
    4. My tummy hurts right now just thinking about it :c \u21a9\ufe0e<\/a><\/li>
    5. I know what you’re thinking, but I am not doing Xmas this year after the debacle of last year. (We might go see Doomsday as a matinee. That’s it.<\/em>) I will prioritize editing. Bah humbug. \u21a9\ufe0e<\/a><\/li>
    6. Impossible. I am aware. \u21a9\ufe0e<\/a><\/li>
    7. Ditto. \u21a9\ufe0e<\/a><\/li>
    8. I know it’s been a while; thank you for sticking with me. \u21a9\ufe0e<\/a><\/li>
    9. One scene memorably ended rather abruptly with “[I don’t know how to end this]” after the last line of dialogue. Well, thanks for nothing, Past Me, because guess what, Present Me doesn’t have any fucking idea either. \u21a9\ufe0e<\/a><\/li>
    10. I am yelling at myself, unless you need this reminder as well, in which case, yes, I can yell it at you too. <3 \u21a9\ufe0e<\/a><\/li>
    11. Smaller and simpler, I promise. \u21a9\ufe0e<\/a><\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n
      \n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      A long time ago, in a writer’s group far away, we would give each other Official Permission To Write Garbage\u2122. (I even went so far as to make a printable little poster.) It was all about giving oneself the grace to understand that a first draft will always be shitty. It will be messy, redundant, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"[{\"content\":\"Goodness, that was a long time ago. And during the writing of Fletcher & Cooper, to boot! Plus \u00e7a change, etc. Also that style was a long-ass time ago too, eep.\",\"id\":\"5555eefc-fb66-4eda-9ca1-6e3b1f3731ae\"},{\"content\":\"This is why I call mine Draft 0. No one gets to read a Draft 0. Sometimes I<\/em> can barely read a Draft 0. I do not expect other humans to have to suffer as I do.\",\"id\":\"a60a4424-7988-47ff-9565-7375cdf5752b\"},{\"content\":\"You know when you're watching an episode of, I don't know, Star Trek or something, and the crew is like \\\"OMG we have to do X otherwise the ship will explode, or whatever!\\\" where X is kinda out of left-field and\/or hand-wavy and\/or wraps everything up in a neat little package with no reprecussions? And you pause the show and turn to your long-suffering partner and explain what the writers could have done instead that a) would have arguably made more sense and b) been more satisfying? THAT. But against something I wrote MYSELF. Which is RUDE.\",\"id\":\"e543fb6a-c0fa-47d0-8cb0-798c9afbea9a\"},{\"content\":\"My tummy hurts right now just thinking about it :c\",\"id\":\"10a91fd8-21e6-4851-9c1b-2f44157801ab\"},{\"content\":\"I know what you're thinking, but I am not doing Xmas this year after the debacle of last year. (We might go see Doomsday as a matinee. That's it.<\/em>) I will prioritize editing. Bah humbug.\",\"id\":\"1dabc83c-332c-4eaf-95cd-793a93dd7d44\"},{\"content\":\"Impossible. I am aware.\",\"id\":\"70264237-c32c-495f-9c4a-16a2b5a12af8\"},{\"content\":\"Ditto.\",\"id\":\"7ddcd6c1-abe2-4d93-a8e3-c782ce7bbf7c\"},{\"content\":\"I know it's been a while; thank you for sticking with me.\",\"id\":\"0649c36f-8d2f-4f2d-801f-621ce5b3165b\"},{\"content\":\"One scene memorably ended rather abruptly with \\\"[I don't know how to end this]\\\" after the last line of dialogue. Well, thanks for nothing, Past Me, because guess what, Present Me doesn't have any fucking idea either.\",\"id\":\"3456f612-fbc4-42ca-869d-572bc0af26a1\"},{\"content\":\"I am yelling at myself, unless you need this reminder as well, in which case, yes, I can yell it at you too. <3\",\"id\":\"5e8b066b-d890-417d-93dd-ecd5c780fa6d\"},{\"content\":\"Smaller and simpler, I promise.\",\"id\":\"5126e350-eaa6-4d75-b54a-ecaaa62d04e9\"}]"},"categories":[3,213],"tags":[90,70],"class_list":["post-1832","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog","category-editing","tag-editing","tag-fletchercooper"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/victoriafeistner.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1832","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/victoriafeistner.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/victoriafeistner.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/victoriafeistner.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/victoriafeistner.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1832"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/victoriafeistner.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1832\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1834,"href":"https:\/\/victoriafeistner.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1832\/revisions\/1834"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/victoriafeistner.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1832"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/victoriafeistner.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1832"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/victoriafeistner.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1832"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}